Be warned that I'm writing this post out of anger, because I think I've just had enough of her nonsense. It's my house, my home, my territory and the frustrating part is that I have to put up with her childish, ungrateful behaviour.
And I'm not talking about my little princess. Obviously, it is the maid - the foreigner in my house, that we've been treating so kindly over the past 2 years.
Of course during these 2 years she was not an angel, and we've had bad days, putting up with her long papaya face, tempers and rude responses, or lack of. I tolerate her monthly pms moods and have almost gotten used to her non-response when I speak to her, or the other extreme - a response so disrespectful that if I was her mother, I'd have slapped her without hesitation.
Now before you jump to conclusion that I abuse or enslave my maid, or mistreat her in anyway, let me say that this No.5 is the best treated so far! Like all previous maids, she have her own room, own IKEA bed, new mattress, two bedsheets and bath towels and numerous clothes to wear (but she keeps them to bring home, I guess since she rotates only between a handful), above other things she gets to eat sweets to satisfy her cravings, and her purchases for new jeans, watch, hair accessories and lately a pair of ear rings (to show off to her country folks when she goes back) have all been approved without hesitation.
Yet we don't pamper her. Work is work. Rest when needed, even I suggest she takes the hour off if I know the night before she's slept late.
But I'm sick and tired of her rudeness! So many times I bear with it, when I react, when I tell her off, when I try to reason things, the only response I get from her is a defensive rebuttal followed by angry words from her and a whole week of cold shoulder. It's as if I owe her a living, WHEN I FRIGGIN' DON'T!
Yes, I have compassion for her country, for the poor folks and the condition she grow up in. But I am disgusted with her ungrateful behaviour, thinking that she deserve all these and more! There are girls out there who are forced into prostitution, girls who end up with bad employers who starve and beat them or worse, rape them, or maids who have to sleep on the floor, eat little and work two shifts but this maid of mine, she's never seen any of those. She goes around seeing all the nice friends we have and seeing all the nice houses and malls and she thinks she's getting a bad deal. For goodness sake, she's got close to 20% pay rise for her 3rd year extension and she dared to ask me for more in negotiation for her 4th year!
That I can pay, if she is a good worker. But after two years, her cooking has not improved, and she's almost killed off my skinny-looking bongsai, amongst other things and that's not even what I hold against her. If a person can't cook, that person can't cook. Just like not everyone can draw, or do public speaking. But to be so filled with pride, refusing to improve or utter a world of apology when wrong, or shouts back at her employer?
Recent case
We've tolerated with her forgetfulness and for those serious times, we adviced her eventhough she gave us a deaf ear and retorted back.
It all started when she lost our food containers in church last Sunday (and best part is, she enjoyed banana leaf rice after church without even thinking of the containers) and only realised them on Tuesday. All these while, I'm amazed how she can NOT remember, since she was the one in charge of holding the paper bag with the containers, and she doing the washing, did not realise at home that she did not wash the containers.
When she highlighted this to me, I told her to check hubby's car in the evening, which she did, but DID NOT TELL ME that it was not there. I guess she's thinking she can hide her mistake, hoping I'd forget. But shame on her, after 2 years living me, she's not learnt that I've got elephant memory and not one to cheat on. So I questioned her, and asked her why she didn't inform me. Not an apology. Not any remorse. She just walked off.
I swallowed that anger that morning. But she pulled a face so long it can even mop my floor the whole day, and the next day! She either deliberately or not, forgot things she'd been doing routinely, leaving traces of work behind, half hearted work and when I highlight these to her, another black face, and oh, the tempers she throw - slamming the doors, making noises with, throwing things on the floor and a loud sigh - how I wish I have a camera to video all that for your entertainment!
This afternoon I came home and saw she's planted the Japanese roses where I told her to, and not wanting to throw the original shrubs away, I told her to plant them at the front fence parameter. Our friend planted them so "out" it looked so awkward like in the middle of my garden, really she has no green fingers I know and no aesthetic ideas. So I told her to plant where I showed her, and her unwillingness got the better of me. So I said, forget it, and just plant it along the cement parameter in the shade... cut the long story short, as I walked in, I hear her grumble loudly, so loud I can hear her still when I was in the living room! I went out to ask her, "Excuse me, what did you say?" and she continued her mumbled something about me not making up my mind!
What the?!! She's totally disillusioned. That's my garden. And I changed my mind because she did a bad job in the front, moreover I told her that she's got the shade now so what's the big deal?! Afterall, it wasn't like she did a whole row and felt her effort wasted, she merely planted 3 little plants and now the temper! I pity her parents and even her future husband, if she ever marry.
To say I'm angry is a total understatement! If our country is not in such a bad shape now, I'd given her the boot and say good riddance. And if you must know, if not because I have kids and need an extra pair of hands and eye, I'd not want a foreigner putting me at her mercy in my very own home!
Chipotle Chicken
18 hours ago
16 comments:
aiyo..very panas. wait for you to cool down first.
Easier said than done, IMHO, get her out when her contract expires n get a new one in. i see no difference now cos u r still teaching a new worker. must as well put ur effort to the new one.
She's just got her 3rd year extended, and that's another story because she coughed up so much lies just to test us to see how desperate we wanted her. On good day, want to extend, on bad day, wanna go back. Now she's going back for holiday, PAID HOLIDAY, AIR FARE PAID BY US, and blimey, she's acting up! Good thing we're holding some money back, she is still want to come back and take it.
I simply could not tolerate what you are going through now. Baffles me on your situation and decision. Guessed you must be having much much more patient than I do. God Bless.
sigh...many are hiding behind their mistakes.
me o have ranting post today :(
I feel you, I really feel you. Ours is leaving in two weeks time, for good. Even tho it means more work for me, I am going to be so relieved. If she upsets you so much, you should just get rid of her and get another one. The stress is really not worth it.
Hi mc, the reason why I try not to send her away because getting a new maid does not guarantee problem solved. It could be a new set of problems PLUS the old attitude problem as the new generation of maids are mostly no good, sad to say that. That's why I say our country is in a bad shape because now we are at the mercy of foreigners. The cost of getting a new maid, whether indon or Filipino is very high, and again, what if another bad apple since there are so many around? Better the devil you know, than the angel you dont. So I get angry, she won't change although I hope she will, and I "yan" and thrash it out lor.
*yikes*, she sounds really kurang ajar!
Actually, I tot you will be fierce enuf to make her scared to do all that. (slam doors etc).
If it's me, sure will be "bullied" by her already.
My maid altho can be blur like sotong sometimes, at least haven't shown any black face b4.
Hmm, I can imagine your fury. There's no way I can handle this kind of stress. That's why I'd rather slog and become the kakak myself... and also, dare not even dream of upgrading to a bigger house haha!
Try the lost and found box in church...
Your kids are bigger now...how about a part time maid...come in few hours to do cleaning, ironing...
Aiya....I feel so bad for you. There are soooo many horror stories but this so called "maid" but actually they think they are the boss instead and we should kneeled down on our knee to ask for mercy instead.
If I have a rope at home, I'd wrapped it around her neck and hang her....grrrrr....Sorry, just expressed how I feel now. Pregnant lady very moody one... :)
@buffafly, checked dy. I should have suspected why she was so "ganjing" on Tuesday afternoon to check the lost and found box... Coz she already knew she left it in church, but pretended it may be in the car. Anyway, two points for the acting. At night, hubby checked the box again but nil. Not the lost of material, but the attitude.
@wabbitfoot, FUIYOH, you so gamas meh? Must be your hormones... Control control, else end up in newspaper.
Hi Irene, regret to read about your situation there with the maid.
In a way, you all very lucky, most of you have maids. None of us here can afford one, besides the rules and regulations, worst than getting married, to have a maid.
I guess, not all are good maids, and I have read some horror stories too, but both sides.
Anyway....you stay easy....
Lee.
How about part-time cleaning maids?
Oh dear, it sucks when we know we need an extra pair of hands and eyes, fork out a fortune and get really horrible maids in return. Their government keeps complaining that they are not well taken care of but how about the employers?
Anyways, as for me, thank God, my filipino maid is a keeper. However, after going maidless for one year (before my current one arrived), i survived on a part time cleaner who came in 3 x a week to do the chores except for cooking. If i didn't have to work, I think settling on a part time cleaner would have worked perfectly for us.
Anyhow, to each their own ya. Hang in there!
@Dinah, I thought your maid just left this year? Anyway, this was was good for a while, but good things don't last I guess. She insisted on going back next year, so now giving her attitude and choosing workload. Complains of washing a duvet too heavy for her, and too lazy to carry a half pail of water up 6 steps of stairs. Oh well. It's not I'm not grateful, I do note down her contributions to this household, and I'm eternally grateful, just upset over spurts of retaliation on her part.
Eg, just this morning she shouted at my daughter to wear her clothes, loud enough to hear the tension from downstairs.
And got the cheek to receive our quarterly bonus for her deteriorating work. She's also asking for 4pm nap almost 3x a week, doing night chores in the afternoon so effectively doing less because retiring earlier at night, but waking up 30 mins later in the mornings. Imagine that!
Post a Comment