A Love Letter To Victoria

My dearest Princess,

I have not written a love letter to you for a long time now.  As I sit here at my desk, after having potter around the kitchen for a bit this morning, my mind drifted off once in a while on you. I'm wondering what you are doing now at school, whether you'll come back chatty or moody.  You're only 9 this year, but my, how you have grown as you experience a growth spurt this year.

I know you don't like me teasing you about your size, but sometimes I do that just so we can have some crazy moments, not because I want to hurt you, dear.  I like to squeeze your thighs and compare them with mine, or smack your bum just because I still can, and sometimes wrap my arms around your neck.

We don't often shopped together for clothes and girly stuff.  I hope you understand that's because both our schedules don't allow such luxury of time, and neither does mummy believe that we should buy carelessly whilst daddy work so hard at work.  We don't always see eye to eye on fashion too.  Sigh.  But do you remember the last time we headed off to Paradigm Mall, just you and I, to grab some stuff and also pop in Lovisa to look at some cute ear rings?  I thought you'd like them, and it's nice that you asked me for my opinion.  Eventhough we were rushing to our next destination, I really wanted to get you something from this shop and I'm glad I did.

Now that you have those cute little ear rings, I hope you'd remember our short escapade everytime you wear them.  We should have more mummy-daughter doing girly stuff.

So, how are you at school?  Isn't great that you have made 3 wonderful friends you can call them your BFF?  I hope these friendships last, and most importantly I hope they will be good influences on you, just as you become a good influence to them.  Remember we don't have to be followers all the time, and we don't have to cave in to peer pressure ok?  It's normal to want to be the same, but it's ok to be different too, because that's what makes you special.  So your hair will grow longer, now that we've gotten them snipped off a few inches.   So what if people notice that your hair is shorter now, because that doesn't change who YOU are.

My girl, my precious girl.  You said you never liked to be the eldest.  How I wish you have someone to look up to, as a jie jie.  I know I have been hard on you most of the times, pushing you to do better, aim higher, smile more, talk more, etc and that's only because I love you.  I'm sorry when I've scolded you too harshly.  I'm sorry for not taking time off to hug you.  I'm sorry for always being too engrossed in my own things or work and just expecting you to accept that.

I love you.  I really do.  I hope you believe that.  My heart breaks when you talk rudely to me.  Growing up doesn't mean you are allowed to talk rudely.  My heart breaks when you don't listen to me, and choose to be stubborn and do things your way instead.  How many times have I said... or reminded... or threatened... but you don't hear me.  Because of this, Daddy and Mummy really pray that you don't fall into the wrong crowd because you're just round the corner to being a teenager.

Would be nice if you share more about your feelings and learn to express yourself more.  It's hard to keep persuading you to come out of your shell, girl.  But if I can assure you again and again, I'd like to say that I love you no matter what.

Looking forward to the school holidays so we can do some fun stuff together.  Last night, I told you the hard truth that life is not about having fun, but everything is about hardwork and perseverance. I hope I did not demotivate you.  Hang on to your piano lessons, girl, but if it really drives you crazy just to practice, then stop it.  (note to self:  better start to secretly record her playing so that I can listen to them next time)


Love you XOXO,
Mummy

Happy 6th Birthday William

For William's birthday, he was as decisive this year as he was in the previous years. When we asked him where he would like to celebrate, he immediately told us that it has to be at the same place as his 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th birthdays because he liked the food there and the special hats that he get to wear.

So we made our bookings early, and I'm sure we were the first to make a reservation for April, as the manager was shocked when he took down the date from me.

Saturday, 26th April 2014

We arrived on time for dinner.  Had our car valet parked (how nice it is to have this complimentary service for all diners, not withstanding how much you eat or spend), and proceeded to our table upstairs.

This year, the management gave William a bigger surprise than last year's!

Courtesy of the management - they gave William what he wanted ie a fireman's hat and his very own poster!

How did they make this poster?  Well, neither hubby and I knew what to expect except to expect something with William's picture.  A few days before, the restaurant asked for a closed up high-resolution photo of William, so I got down to work... did what I did best (ie shooting... with the camera) and William did what he did best (ie posing).

William was obviously very ecstatic!  He held his poster, looked at it proudly while admiring the details and wordings, and had it placed near him during the meal.  The chairs were decorated with ribbons, also courtesy of the management, whom we are so thankful to!

The little fireman with Popo and Gong Gong

His long sleeve shirt and silver tie - from H&M bought especially for this birthday dinner, and chosen by his Jie Jie

And what did the birthday boy ordered?  His favourite food - lasagne!  No need to think twice, he is so decisive lidat.

The cake was ordered from Fat Boy Bakes but it was nothing great.  We ordered the chilled oreo cheese cake, which in my humble opinion, I could have done a better job.  The cake was not cheesy, and too sweet and texture was too "gelatino."  No offence, to the engineer turned part time baker cum real estate agent, but he did not even thanked us for ordering his cake, nor asked for feedback or if we liked it.

Saturday, 12th April 2014

We had a joint birthday celebration with Mama Yeh Yeh and Yee Sok, Yi Sam and cousin Theodore at Kitchen Creatures located at Centrepoint in Bandar Utama.  The kids always have fun time with Theodore, especially William and Theodore would run around, tease each other and make fun at things.

The boys are just 3.5 months difference in age.  

Tuesday, 29th April 2014

This is William's actual birthday and as he wished, he got to celebrate it in his kindy albeit a very simple, simple one with his friends.  A cake seemed to be a must with the kids, so we bought another cake just for the formality.  The smile from William's face was definitely one to be treasured, as he grinned from ear to ear and basked in the attention given.  We let him give out the coloring/story book which we bought for his classmates, which we thought were more educational and useful than junkfood and toys.  Of course, the kids would have preferred the later, and one child even exclaimed, "What??  A book?!"

At night, we had another of his favourite food for dinner - hokkien noodles.  As we don't often eat these, and kids don't get to eat much of noodles with dark sauce, this was considered a treat to them.  We ate at this place in Paramount Garden famous for hokkien noodles, no airconditioned, and just simple "dai chau" with Mama Yeh Yeh who made a surprise visit.

A drive after dinner to SS2 looking for Swenson proved futile as we then realized that Swenson has moved.  Thankfully we had an ice cream cake still in my freezer and we headed back home, to finish of the cake.

Dearest boy boy,

I wonder how many more years will you let me call you boy boy?  Well, you are growing up so well, and Daddy Mummy are very proud of your achievements.  You are more assertive now and have always been vocal and confident of yourself.

As you pray for yourself every night, I hope you pray for humility too, and God's wisdom and guidance be the light unto your path.  Do not be easily upset and disappointed. 

Draw to your heart's content.  Express yourself in your own artistic ways.  Build your strength in numbers and words, and may the books you read bring you knowledge and creativeness beyond your imagination.  Have I told you, how you amaze me with your reading and your curiosity to know?  You smile all the time and radiate so much happiness.  Even when you speak or when you look at me, your eyes are smiling.  How do you do that, I wonder to myself?

I hope you will never shy of hugging and kissing your Mummy Daddy.  I hope you will never let anyone make you feel little or shake your confidence.  I hope when you feeling low, you find refreshment and joy in Jesus.  

This will be your last year in pre-school, and next year onwards you will be in a bigger world, a bigger school, with friends that may or may not be very kind.  Stay the cute, innocent boy that you are, ok?  

Mummy loves you always and forever.  

Happy 9th Birthday Victoria

Victoria turned 9 on 10th April 2014!!  

5th April - The Saturday before her birthday, Daddy brought us to Pizza Hut for a treat because we don't really hang out at fast food joints, and this was something special to the kids.  But don't know why, this girl was happy one moment, and upset at something the next, and then the two siblings were supposed to share an ice cream dessert together but ended up I finished it for them... oh well, the few smiley pictures were not that great, so here's something more pleasing to look at ; P

Popo GongGong came up for the weekend.  Vic chose burgers for her dinner menu, so we brought her to The Grind Burger Bar at Section 17, PJ. It was also GongGong's birthday the next day (6th April) so it was a nice cozy celebration for the two birthday "kids."  

Happy birthday to Vic and Gong Gong

Family picture

Chocolate cheese birthday cake by Just Heavenly.  It was alright, not so heavenly though. 

Daddy's charcoal burger... may not look very appetizing due to the color of the bun but it's yummylicious! 

Gong Gong's burger... huge!  

No idea who ate this... maybe me

One with Popo Gong Gong

Enjoys his bite sized burger, sliced up nicely by Kakak

A few weeks before her birthday, we were still undecided on where and how to celebrate.  Yea, as always there would be a birthday dinner but I thought maybe she'd like a little difference this year - maybe a small playdate with her friends.  A picnic would need too much adult supervision and involvement so we ruled that out.  A trip to Skytrex, which was an outdoor eco-recreational adventure may send an adrenaline rush to some, but my girl - although she lovveeesss roller coaster rides and such, is still a timid mice like her mummy when it came to challenges like walking along shaky planks 5-70 feet across trees above ground level, or climbing up ropes or God forbid... doing the Flying Fox.  

Saturday, 12th April

After a decision to select three good friends to play with at Kids E World, in IPC Shopping Mall, we had to find a suitable date which was really tough because we had to skip an art class and rush to Children Church thereafter only to play for less than 2 hours and a quick meal at McDonald's.  

William and two other friends (one from cell and another a younger sibling of Vic's good friend) were part of the play outing too.  So there were 6 kids altogether, together with our helper Joanne and hubby.  I had an appointment so I couldn't make it.  I'm touched that her friends, although all were staggeredly late, made it and this must have made Victoria's day.  Because if they could easily have said no thank you, as they each had their respective weekly activities on a Saturday morning.  

Girls with their dracula french fries!

So there... you see Vic's birthday celebration runs like a festive season... from the weekend before to the weekend after!

To my precious princess Vic,

Sometimes I have so much to say to you - the good things of course, and sometimes I just have none.  Because girl, you can either be such a cheerful, clownish and sweet girl and then change to a solemn, moody child over a small displeasure.  I wish I understand you more.  I wish you open up your heart and thoughts more to your loved ones.  You ain't getting any younger, and very soon we'll be celebrating your 13th birthday.  Already this year, Gong Gong made an observation that this is your last single digit birthday.  

Mummy Daddy love you. I hope you know and believe that.  Remember a time you shared your feelings with Kakak behind our backs about we not loving you?  That really hurt.  I came into your room when you were asleep, and prayed and shed tears.  Despite the times when I nag and scold you, or reprimand you for giving me an attitude, I would NEVER, ever trade you for anyone else.  

But if there was one thing I could advice you on girl, please be more teachable.  You are at a stage where you talk back and question us.  You have your views and I encourage you to voice them in a gentle manner.  You may not get what you want at all times, but at least you tried.  You may not be right all the time, but that doesn't mean you are not bright.  You are our unpolished diamond.

I wish you good health, I wish you love, I wish you forgiveness, I wish you joy and happiness to radiate from within you, I wish you everlasting good friends, I wish you passion in your studies and music and art, I wish you maturity beyond your age and childhood pleasure, most of all, I wish you Jesus.  Stay close to Him in whom you are always VICTORIOUS.  

Love,
Mummy

Growing Up

Look, by now if you've been reading my blog long enough or know be close enough, to know that I'm pretty emotional and sentimental when it comes to certain things close to my heart.  Certain thoughts can make my eyes got misty very fast.

It's been a long time since I last walked my son into class ever since we started this morning car pooling routine with a neighbor whose daughter studies in the same school.  Also, it's always so convenient to drop the kids off at the entrance where the teachers are ever ready to open your car door, bring the child out, and then the child walks straight into the school.  Also, we are always almost right on the dot on time, so it makes sense not to park, because it will take another 5 minutes.

So having said all that, I haven't had much chance to walk my boy in, unlike last year when he was in the afternoon session.

But last Friday I had the chance.  So I strolled into class with him, and wished him good bye.  He bade me good bye mummy, and then walked to his table and as I watched him just a couple of metres away, he happily chatted with his friends, as if he forgotten me so soon.

I lingered a few seconds more, before feeling a little out of place as the teacher went about her morning routine checking on the kids and I stood there like a mother hoping.

Yes, I was a mother hoping.

I smiled and walked off to the door where the partition of the 6 year and 5 year old classes were.  That was a good 10 metres away from my boy but I had a good view of him still.  He was looking in my direction as he chatted with his friend still... and I seized the moment to blow him not one, but TWO flying kisses.  I knew it landed on his cheeks, as they always did.  He saw them coming.  But that was all he did.

Sob sob.

That was all he did.  He just looked at me for that two seconds, then continued on with his friend.

Sigh.

I left to the waiting car outside and shared my heart with hubby.  All he said was, "I told you so, one day he will ..."  Pretty consoling huh.

At home in the afternoon I shared my heart with my little boy.  The one who always hugged and kissed me, assured me a hundred times a day and more, on how much he loved me.  The one who would play with my hair everytime he misses me.  The one who'd plant oily kisses on my cheeks during meals.

Yes, he has not stopped, albeit all these love gestures have lessen.  But I asked him why didn't he return my flying kisses, nor did he hug or kiss me goodbye in the morning?

Then he shared with me that it was because when he did that, his friends would always tease him and laugh at him.  He had to hide behind the little partitions to kiss me in the beginning of the year.  They'd tease him for saying that he loves me.

I am wondering why kids that age can be so mean.  Don't they hug and kiss their mommies?  Don't they love their mommies too?  So I told my boy, "If something happen to mommy and that was your last chance to kiss and hug me, and you did not... because you were afraid your friends laughed at you... how would you feel?"

And let that thought linger in him.

Oh well.  Deep in me I know hubby is right.  One day.  My boy is growing up.  But I still hold on to his promises to me, that he'd still hug and kiss me in front of his friend EVEN when he's in college, he'd still hold my hands to cross the road, he'd still play with my hair and tell me he loves me, he'd still bring me out for lunches and call me now and then when he's started work as an adult.

Yes, those were his promises.

I write them down here with tears streaming down my cheeks, and hope he will keep them.