What can I say for the short hiatus in my blog? It wasn't like I was away, nor was I busy with mega projects or happening parties. I was around, just being me, the usual stuff, a little lazy now and then, at other times multi-tasking, maybe the same old boring life you can say.
Stories Untold!
But we've been having some parenting challenges with our little girl, Vic. I don't even know how to begin. Except that, you recall the previous time when I wrote about her sneaking behind our backs to have a bite of junk food, ice cream and then did I mention, she had sweets and Mamee Monster a couple of weeks back?
Oh, the anger in us just welled up! I need to say that we never once suspected our little girl. Moreover, after the previous incident I'd have thought she learnt and understood the reasons and the consequences. But no, one morning when I dropped her off at tuition, her friend mentioned about eating Mamee Monster with her, and Vic admitted. To give her face, I told her I will settle with her at home, and explained to her friend that Vic is not allowed to eat junk food due to medical reasons.
That evening itself, I receive a phone call from a mother friend who informed me out of concern that her daughter told her that Vic has been eating Mamee. What shocked me even further was it was NOT just once, but two separate occassions, and on top of the snack, she also had MUFFINS! The Mamee was also bought with money from a classmate. How can she indulge in such foods when she knows it will harm her? I think she just caved in. Any human would, I tried to reason with myself that if I was her, having "puasa" for 3.5years, I'd also go berzerk and would do the same.
But but but!! I don't say much this time, I let hubby take over because it is very emotionally draining. Having to know that my daughter sneaked behind us. Worse, that she deliberately hid this from us, hoping we'd never find out. As if we were the bad guys.
Is this a normal behavior for kids this age?
On hindsight, isn't it funny how I keep getting information about my little girl's eating junk without even looking or asking?
We told her to sleep in her own big girl room, the one that's been waiting for her to turn 7. I've been telling Vic that she needs to move to her own room now, she being a big girl and all that. But this incident fastforwarded her migration. Sadly, it was supposed to be a promotion, not a punishment, but seemed more like the latter. She obediently moved to her room with her sleeping mates and what a relief that her nights there were uneventful. She even claimed to enjoy sleeping in her own room, not wanting to come back over. Instead, she wanted to rope in my sleeping partner at one point.
That aside, we told her that she's always welcome back for a night or two, just for old times' sake. This was only after a few days - when the weather has calmed down.
Barter Trade
Two days ago, I was checking her bag and found 3 items that we did not buy for her. One of which, she insisted she did not know how it came into her possession, whereas the other two was given to her by a boy in her class. Both incidents, we said no! First of all, things don't have legs. Either she took, or someone gave, and both are equally wrong.
A parent shared with me that her daughter also keep bringing things back that does not belong to her. Apparently kids these days like to exchange things or give their things away. I feel this is an unhealthy habit.
Why should children be exchanging things when they have no need to?
Solution - Hopefully
After much thought, hubs decided that we should give Vic some pocket money. As home CFO, I put the amount of 50cents up, which is enough for her as she does not need any money at all since she brings her own snack to school. There is also nothing in the canteen which she can eat.
So far, she has deposited all her daily pocket money in her piggy bank. As a motivation, I told her that she can reward herself with the money after a few months.
Sweet and Sour Mandarin Fish (糖醋鱼)
1 week ago
10 comments:
I think most kids would act the same. My 2 older girls did. When Alycia went to Std. 1, she was so thrilled that she could finally have the independence to buy things from the canteen and book shop all by herself. Though I had reprimanded her not to spend the money unnecessarily, she still did. Though I stopped giving her money, she dug out coins from her piggy bank! I told her that I will ask 'some people' in school to watch her and tell me what she bought in school and that did deter her a wee bit. I told myself that maybe she's just too happy to have found her new found freedom and I was right. Now, she does not buy junk food anymore. I only give her pocket money of a few Ringgit 2x a week on days that she stays back. Maybe you can scare Vic that if she continues eating what she should not be eating behind your back, she will have some serious health probs that will leave her very, very sick and in the hospital for a very, very long time. Drum that into her everyday!
Hey dear, I agree with Health Freak Mom, kids are kids,sometimes they don't know the wrongs are wrongs or dead wrongs, we must then guide them with loads of patience and love,, that's the only it should be....
I am very sure Vic and Will are goods kids and you guys are good parents too, take sometimes and guess what,sometimes let them be naughty a little here and there.
And remember please pray for them always, it works magic,,,, i can testify it,,was having problems with Jovial, (teen ma,,) got very TL, hot very fast then I said to myself,"Lord, let me submit him to you" now almost every early morning before i go to work, I pray for him,, now he even holds my hands when he sleeps,, glory be to god
Kids exchanging things is quite common, esp when they first start school and are making friends. My youngest brings things home from time to time too. I will check with her that she did not take it from them. If it was given to her, then I will ask her if there is something she can give in return.
It must be challenging for all of you with Vic's dietary requirements. Even harder for her when she sees her peers eating what she can't. Will keep praying for her.
You know, when i was 7 years old, i always curi curi use the pocket money my mom gave me to eat ice creams when we go for tuition classes. told her am buying buns with the money (sound healthier eh) Both my sis and I hid it from my mum for quite a while until one day she saw us eating it! kena kantoi I tell you!! Luckily she wasn't mad haha
I understand how you feel when your child has medical reasons to refrain from certain food. As for Benjamin, he is also full of allergies. He has been very discipline when he was younger, but now at 7 years old, it is certainly a challenge. I realised that the more strict I was with his food intake, the more he would eat behind my back. So, I would also pray a little prayer that God will miraculously protect him from allergy, and allow him to just eat one food which is allergic too after a period of time. I would allow him to choose. If he choose ice-cream, I would allow it. I would wait till one month before he takes another food of his choice. As time passes by, I realise that his allergy tolerance is not too bad. Now, I allow him to eat once a week.
It's easier said than done and Vic may have difference tolerance, but let's commit Vic into His hands to protect her. Just reward her once a month (with the condition that she doesn't eat behind your back).
Hi Irene, hey...you were young once.....we were all young once.
And not to worry, she'll soon grow out of it. Won't be long she'll want to be slim....then you'll wonder why she eats so little, ha ha.
Maybe have a girl to girl chat with her? Use reverse psychology?
Anyway, have fun, kids grow fat.
Lee.
YY mostly bought stuff from the bookshop, those cutesy eraser, pencil, sharpener, notepad, etc. and snacks from the canteen. I guess they are just relishing the freedom to buy things with their "own" money. However as time passes, the temptation to spend is not so strong anymore. I guess giving Vic some pocket money and clearly outlining what she can and cannot buy is good. At least she still has the freedom to choose to buy things that are not forbidden. But the good thing is, she didn't spend any of her pocket money right?
Nothing new in this household of mine :) Ashley too felt so thrilled to be able to buy stuff from the canteen or bookshop when she first started std 1 this year. After reminding her several times that her pocket money (RM1) was strictly for emegencies e.g. pay phone, she stopped buying stuff. She used to come home with a new ruler( she has 101 rulers at home!!!). And kids exchanging stuff is also quite normal but like you, I don't like it either. I always checked her bag to make sure that there are no new stuff in there and if i find stuff which does not belong to her, i get her to return it. No exchanging of stuff. Period.
Ummm....on your first para....my son doesn't need to puasa AND YET he still sneaks behimd my back and eats junk! So, I guess it is 'normal'. I want to say "maybe get her some good junk" but I don't know if that is even possible for Vic.
As for buying stuff, I can't comment much coz my son doesn't go to school yet and doesn't have pocket money. And he doesn't exchange stuff in kindy either. They just share and play in kindy and take it back when they go home. But I remember when I was young, I would LOVE to buy erasers too and had a collection of them and would give them to friends.
"Man man kau"...."Mou kek hei". And most of all take heart that God will be her guide.
I just beh tahan at all these nonsense. Don say V..P at this age is into this borrow, lending stuff. He comes home with zero stuff or a lot of stuff. I used ur tactic to reason with P like.. If u want the pencil, ask ur mummy to buy. teaching P to sa no..BUT TO NO AVAIL. so now, i dont pack any stationary at all. and I dont want to care how he gets his pencil or colors at school. i m sure he will find his own solution. i cant reason myself how come i m getting white hair in the 30s. so unreal man.
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