A Love Letter To Victoria

My dearest Princess,

I have not written a love letter to you for a long time now.  As I sit here at my desk, after having potter around the kitchen for a bit this morning, my mind drifted off once in a while on you. I'm wondering what you are doing now at school, whether you'll come back chatty or moody.  You're only 9 this year, but my, how you have grown as you experience a growth spurt this year.

I know you don't like me teasing you about your size, but sometimes I do that just so we can have some crazy moments, not because I want to hurt you, dear.  I like to squeeze your thighs and compare them with mine, or smack your bum just because I still can, and sometimes wrap my arms around your neck.

We don't often shopped together for clothes and girly stuff.  I hope you understand that's because both our schedules don't allow such luxury of time, and neither does mummy believe that we should buy carelessly whilst daddy work so hard at work.  We don't always see eye to eye on fashion too.  Sigh.  But do you remember the last time we headed off to Paradigm Mall, just you and I, to grab some stuff and also pop in Lovisa to look at some cute ear rings?  I thought you'd like them, and it's nice that you asked me for my opinion.  Eventhough we were rushing to our next destination, I really wanted to get you something from this shop and I'm glad I did.

Now that you have those cute little ear rings, I hope you'd remember our short escapade everytime you wear them.  We should have more mummy-daughter doing girly stuff.

So, how are you at school?  Isn't great that you have made 3 wonderful friends you can call them your BFF?  I hope these friendships last, and most importantly I hope they will be good influences on you, just as you become a good influence to them.  Remember we don't have to be followers all the time, and we don't have to cave in to peer pressure ok?  It's normal to want to be the same, but it's ok to be different too, because that's what makes you special.  So your hair will grow longer, now that we've gotten them snipped off a few inches.   So what if people notice that your hair is shorter now, because that doesn't change who YOU are.

My girl, my precious girl.  You said you never liked to be the eldest.  How I wish you have someone to look up to, as a jie jie.  I know I have been hard on you most of the times, pushing you to do better, aim higher, smile more, talk more, etc and that's only because I love you.  I'm sorry when I've scolded you too harshly.  I'm sorry for not taking time off to hug you.  I'm sorry for always being too engrossed in my own things or work and just expecting you to accept that.

I love you.  I really do.  I hope you believe that.  My heart breaks when you talk rudely to me.  Growing up doesn't mean you are allowed to talk rudely.  My heart breaks when you don't listen to me, and choose to be stubborn and do things your way instead.  How many times have I said... or reminded... or threatened... but you don't hear me.  Because of this, Daddy and Mummy really pray that you don't fall into the wrong crowd because you're just round the corner to being a teenager.

Would be nice if you share more about your feelings and learn to express yourself more.  It's hard to keep persuading you to come out of your shell, girl.  But if I can assure you again and again, I'd like to say that I love you no matter what.

Looking forward to the school holidays so we can do some fun stuff together.  Last night, I told you the hard truth that life is not about having fun, but everything is about hardwork and perseverance. I hope I did not demotivate you.  Hang on to your piano lessons, girl, but if it really drives you crazy just to practice, then stop it.  (note to self:  better start to secretly record her playing so that I can listen to them next time)


Love you XOXO,
Mummy