Maids - life better with or without them?

You know, I have meant to write a post about my current maid a month back when she reached her 1st year anniversary here in Malaysia. But work got the better of me, and I have delayed the post until now.

Recently a mommy blogger was looking for a part time helper, another mommy blogger just received hers after 1.5 year gap, and during a yam cha session with a friend I was sharing with him about my 5 maids, and he said I referred to them like ex-boyfriends (NOT that I had 5 exes)

Maid No. 1 - Sinta

Yes, I have had 5 maids, since May 2006, if I recall correctly. Sinta was a very young Indonesian girl, an average helper, not very clean but teachable and courteous to the old, chats with other maids behind our backs, stole some food even, but none of these were the reasons why we sent her home after 18 months.

We started becoming suspicious when our little Vic, then around 2years plus, started smacking the maid really hard on the head, chest, hands for no apparent reason, and even in front of us. Vic would say, "Scared Kakak beat you" but we'd explain to her that Kakak didn't hit us (later we realised that her "you" means "me"). Later on, we suspected that the maid was pinching and beating Vic behind our backs, but smart enough not to leave any marks on Vic. But not smart enough to know that our little toddler could talk!

We probed and asked Vic many times on how, where, when, and what Kakak did, sometimes open-ended questions so we do not lead Vic to an answer (as kids can make-believe), and finally we were confident that the maid was hurting our daughter behind our backs!

Finally we sent her packing. She being our first maid, I learnt from "mistakes" - being too nice a ma'am even apologizing to my maid if I was too harsh in scolding her as I didn't want to hurt her feelings, and also giving her a goodbye hug when I dropped her off at the agent.


Maid No. 2 - Sunarni


Just as some get the shivers when they hear Tsunami, I get the shivers when I mention her name. This maid was good.... for nothing. I am not prejudiced, but my maid no.2 came from Kupang, the place where you get curly-haired Indons. She is what people has generalised these curly-haired... super slow and super dirty.

She overslept, slept while washing clothes, and did things in slow motion. But sleeping and being slow was not such a big offence as having zero common sense, giving us idiotic, silly looks that makes you wonder if she's mentally ill, and her non-existence of personal hygiene or whatsoever hygiene got the better of me.

I was pregnant with William and she was at her 3rd month when we decided that we will not risk her staying on past her 6th month, and being there to "help or not help" me when William was born, so we gave notice to the agent for a replacement maid.

It was traumatic having her around, as she did things that made my blood boil and did nothing to help in the house. I remembered once breaking down in front of my gynae as I asked him if my baby was fine and he asked me why. I told him because I was under so much stress and broken every "pantangs" there is for pregnant ladies - not to look at ugly objects (no picture of my maid no.2 here, as I don't want to frighten you) or scold people, which I did almost every other day.

I had picked my maid no.3's biodata, and she was supposed to arrive by November. But for many reasons, her arrival was delayed, and I later suspect and confirmed that the agent wanted my old maid to finish paying off her "debts" in the 6 months. Sunarni left in her 7th month and I received my third when I was heavily pregnant in my 8th month.


Maid No. 3 - Yana

She was above average in work performance, on the first day she arrived and after cleaning herself up, she took the initiative to wash my porch. Within the first week, her initiatives included cleaning up and making shiny all my pots and pans, cleaning the insides of all my kitchen cabinets at the same time orientating herself on where I kept things. She did the housechores, cared for my kids, bonded with them, cooked well (her forte) and also had green fingers.

She stayed her full term of 2 years but left to be back with her husband, whom she loved greatly and her son whom she left when he was one. She wanted to have 4 kids, and needed a bit of extra money just to complete building the house that they've already started on the land they already had.

I don't miss her now, but I do miss her sambal belacan. Thank God the kids had no withdrawal symptom after Yana left.


Maid No. 4 - Tati

I can't say who is worse, my second or fourth maid. This lady's bio was so fragrant, you could not reject her, and she had a nice sweet face, big double eye lid eyes to go with, as well. Her bio says she worked one year with a chinese family before and has a son the same age as William. Oh, but how bios and looks can be so deceiving!

She could hardly cook, not even stirfry vege, and served me steamed chicken that's still raw, and could fry a fish that's crispy on the skin but still oozing with blood on the sides. Sounds like something out of Fear Factor to me. She had zero common sense, worked slow and spoke so soft even the mosquitoes cannot hear her!

If you told her to do something, or NOT do something, she'd do the exact opposite for you, I guess just to see your reaction. She'd broken even my stainless steel spatula amongst a couple of other items during her 2 months tenure/holiday here. If not for the fact that we were away in the UK for 3 weeks, she'd have gone home sooner!

As for the agency, oohh, that's another long story! Cut short, I believe strongly that the maid and agent were cohorts, and the agent ended up earning double fees for recyling her!


Maid no. 5 - Kea Net (current)


Finally fed up with the Indonesian helpers, I decided to give the Cambodians a try, despite reading many bad reviews on the internet and hearing advice from friends that Cambodian maids are good in four areas : Eating (a lot), slow workers, dirty (because of cultural background) and prone to lie. Oh well, having seen the worst in maid no. 4, I am game / desperate to try the Cambs now.

My current maid is a 20 year old, single Cambodian girl from a village near Phnom Penh.

She has been around for slightly over a year now, and on the whole, more grateful and appreciative of what she is given and has here, compared to her Indonesian counterparts. Possibly because she comes from a genuinely poor country. But she is quick to learn, however no maid is without flaws but maybe after having experienced the horrors of all maid horrors in no.4, I find it easier to forgive my current maid. She had her share of pap talks and counselling from me but I think "we found ourselves a keeper!"

A wise lady once told me, "With maids, heart pain; without maids, hand pain."