Ramblings of a mother... so in love

(Be warned. This is a 2am posting from me. That should tell you something)

I am. I am so in love with my two kids.

Every morning I prepare breakfast for my little girl, tie her hair, pack her water bottle and snack into her school bag, put on her jacket in case cold, give her a hug and walk her to Daddy's car then I wave goodbye to my little princess.

Two years ago she was one head shorter and so much cuter. She's still cute in my eyes, but my my, how she's grown. I love to see her push her trolley bag in her uniform. Never imagined my baby girl like this before.

Sometimes when William wakes early in a grumpy mood, I have to rush upstairs and watch my little girl get into the car from the bedroom window. She reminds me of how time flies.

When the boy wakes, I spend happy breakfast time with William. This is when I eat, and he eats, and we share food together, he insists on double, triple sometimes quadruple cups of organic soya bean drink (his current fav). Then we play his toys, could be his puzzle, or the Toy Story scrabble, a book, a DVD or just being together.

This afternoon Vic and I sneaked into the room to join William for an afternoon snooze. I took this rare opportunity to snuggle up in Vic's IKEA bed but after awhile the little boy woke and saw me with his sister, cried "Mummy I want to sleep with you"... so off I moved up to him leaving Vic. At times like these, honestly, cross my heart I am grateful for her understanding NOT to laugai or put up a fuss but I feel quite guilty.

I pretended to sleep. William fell for it, but he couldn't sleep back and ended up asking to go downstairs to play. Vic wanted to accompany him but I hush her back to sleep. So after a while, William went out by himself, and told his sister, "I go downstairs play. Later I come back up"... how matured.

I took another 30 minutes before going downstairs, where I saw my little boy alone in the livingroom with his sister's Toy Story scrabble toy next to him.

When he saw me, his eyes litted up. His face broke into a smile. My heart is captured by him.

Quickly he told me, "Mummy I wait for you (to) play with me. Play with me Mummy" and he gestured me to the scrabble. I saw he has made two words, one B.u.z.z and another mumbo jumbo tiles, but good try. I asked him if he drank water and some other questions and he answered me so matter of factly I am so impressed.

Then we had tea. I offered William some crackers instead of the cranberry cookies which he asked for. He gladly accepted and asked for second helpings, and helped himself to the third and fourth. In between, I reminded him to drink his water if he wanted more crackers which he not only did, but he went back to the livingroom to carry my heavy water bottle down, placing it next to his on the dining table. Then he announced to me, "Mummy I brought your water down for you to drink"

So sweet. So amazingly sweet. After rejecting my choc moist cake the first time, he helped himself to a piece when he realised no more crackers, only because Mummy said so. As he ate and stuff food into his mouth, I stopped to admire my baby who's not quite a baby anymore.

William asks to sit very near to me during mealtimes. He'd push my chair right next to his and if I dare readjust it, he'd protest. If it's just the three of us, he's always on my right and Victoria on my left. We hold our hands to say grace, sometimes I delegate to Vic who can amaze us with her heart warming "grace" (depends on her mood also) and sometimes William asks to pray (no more for Toy Story, thank God).

Awhile ago I put both my kids to sleep after reading part of Genesis and Little Red Riding Hood. A little tension between the two siblings because one wanted this and another wanted that (usual la), and fatigue kicked in but Mummy gave them a stern word and got things under control... ahem!

I invited Vic, my princess in a solemn daze, from her bed to mine, and William dug his hand, as usual, around my neck to search for a lock of hair to hold. He fell asleep like that. I sang to Vic (hummed, actually... I'm hopeless in lyrics) and she fell asleep too soon. Too soon, I say, because I missed her. I told her that when I invited her to sleep with me. And then I prayed for God to take away her allergies. I'm asking, quite desperately now because I don't want her to feel shortchanged in her childhood, or inferior or lacked of love. But of course, how would anyone understand unless in my shoe?

Her final year in kindy. I keep reminding myself this. Next year I have to adjust myself to not having William with me in the mornings, and Victoria goes to afternoon school.


If I have another 6 months left to live, I'd bring them to their favourite playground and kidzone everyday.

I'd make their favourite ABC and animal pasta for them until they get jelak and let them eat oranges, grapes and cookies as they like.

I'd buy my Vic anything she wants, because money is of no value anymore, from more stickers to more water bottles to more sport shoes and hair clips!

I'd let them mess up the house and not clean up, bring them swimming till their hearts' content and pay a hundred and one train rides for them.

I'd snacked with the kids in front of the telly the whole day, or just fly them to cold countries as they please only to feed the ducks.

If I should pass on tomorrow, I will continue to be their guardian angel, watching still over them and nudging them into the right path.

But what the heck am I rambling on? It's 2am and time to sleep. Or have I already put you to sleep???