The moments after

Vic used to receive RM1 each week in the beginning of the year, in training to teach her how to budget, how to safe and how to spend. But after a month or so after that, the pocket money stopped as I was too busy to keep track. On top of that, she received the occassional angpow which she asked to keep in her piggy bank and request approved.

So, in total she had less than RM30.

She is NOT given pocket money for any chores that she does, whether within or beyond her scope. Those within her chore scope are such as cleaning up her own things, bringing her plate to the kitchen after her meals, doing her homework, and any other adhoc work.

If she is asked to wake her brother, or help her brother clean up, or give her brother water, she does not get any pocket money for that.

I gave her a preliminary lecture in the cafeteria immediately after learning of her RM10 thrill, followed by a good long lecture in the car, whereupon the radio went off and the smaller brother knowingly kept very silent. Back home, all her pocket money in her wallet and her piggy bank is confiscated until further notice.

In the afternoon, she wrote "I am sorry for giving away money foolishly" eleven times (which she finished very quickly so I guess that was too easy for her). I forgot to mention that she (and her class) was given a task by teacher to ask their respective fathers, "What is a quarter cent?" which she did not do so.

At night after cell, she got another lecture from Daddy and the two smacks from Mr R O Tan the next morning.

And that was the end of her lesson. Hopefully it's a lesson learnt.

The things that pains a mother's heart

I don't know how to say this. Bitching I can do, but writing not-so-good-things about a very loved one is very hard. But this I want to put down, my frustrations, my anger, my disappointment, my confusion, my heartache.

This story is about a girl who is very blessed - she has a comfortable house to call her home, even a room of her own even before moving in, clothes in two rooms filling the drawers to the brim, the wardrobe shelves to the top.

She have toys, books and hundreds of coloring pencils, parties to go to, and the benefits of music and chinese extra classes. When she was born, she was ferried in a humble, second hand Kelisa - her first journey out from the hospital. Now she gets to sit in a new luxury car every year, sometimes even before the new leather smell wears out.

She have parents who love her to bits, and a younger sibling who adores her.

Yet, she knows not how to appreciate the hardwork her father puts in, earning a salary to support the family. Today in class, she gave away RM10 to a boy, and RM1 to another boy, just for the fun of it. Apparently, "who can put your hands up first" will get the money.

Best part was, she didn't tell her mother that she brought RM10 to school. The money belonged to her, which was part of her pocket money early this year.

I'm not against giving or donating, but not in this way. This is throwing money away. This is NOT appreciating the value of money. This is not appreciating the hardwork her parents put in, the sacrifices they make and mere foolishness.

Have we not advice you against wastage whether in food, monetary or kind? Have we not brought you to see needy families, or shared with you stories of children who have lesser? Did we or the school not teach you about "not lying", and "honoring your parents"?

Good things happen in 5 seconds

Two special things happened to me yesterday.

#1
I brought William for Gymboree class yesterday, and it was one of his best sessions because he was totally participative and did not run off to play by himself.  He was almost like the kiasu kid, being the first to participate in any new activity and sang and dance happily.  He hardly asked for me to be by his side, and even when I disappeared in the beginning (with his knowledge) he was totally cool about it - when I returned I saw him sitted next to teacher listening to a story.

During Parachute Time where we were flying the parachute up and down.  At one moment we looked at each other deep, both of us smiling - for what seemed like a long long time, actually around 5 seconds and he said, "Mummy I love you!" Aaah, it was as if that 5 seconds felt like slow motion and I wish I could replay that over and over again. 


#2
After picking Vic up from her chinese tuition in the afternoon, I asked her if she was hungry because I was.  She said she was, but didn't know what to eat. As for me, I have already decided that we can tapau tosei and roti canai near our house.  As I turned off to another route and parked, she suddenly realised my intention and squealled in delight.  She exclaimed, "I thought you were bringing me to do your work!  But actually to buy tosei, yaaayy!!"

While waiting for our take away food, she hugged me in the middle of the restaurant, wrapping her arms around me for that good 5 seconds too and I knew just how happy she was.  Such a nice feeling! 

I am half Foo-Chow

Some people have certain perceptions about Foo-Chow people.

When I was a teenager, I heard jokes of Foo-Chow people being loud like want to fight and sits with one leg up like a trishawman. This, I can't say it's true nor confined only to this segment of Chinese.

Then I heard people say that the Foo-Chow dialect is the hardest to speak, and hardest to understand. You can't guess what they are saying. And this is definitely true. I remembered my Chinese New Years spent as a child in Sitiawan (where my paternal grandparents lived) listening to foreign words, and not knowing Mandarin doesn't help, because it was like chicken and duck talk with my grandmother (thank God my grandfather spoke English).

A Foo-Chow guy in my previous previous workplace once told me, having discovered that I was Foo-Chow like him too, that it's a pity I am already married, else it'd be great to marry a Foo-Chow lady like me, keep the breed pure - that's his excuse. Hhmmpk. What kind of era is he living in, anyway?

And lately my Foo-Chow uncle from the States joked that old Foo-Chow men used to walk around with loose shorts on very hot days, sit with their legs up (maybe it's true then) with unsightly sights of their balls peeping through. Eeuuu!!

Don't shoot me yet for any hard feelings on what I written. Foo-Chow have wonderful, if not the best, Chinese food around! Unfortunately I don't know if we get many authentic Foo-Chow restaurants in Klang Valley.

Last month, we went back to Sitiawan (pronounced as City A1) to celebrate my Ah Ma (to the kids, she is Ah Chor)'s 86th birthday. It was a short 2D1N trip up north, and we stayed at the Orient Star Resort in Lumut (nothing to shout about except for their chapati).

We managed to take a dip in the pool the afternoon we arrived, ate James' famous cendol, enjoyed Foo-Chow food during Ah Ma's birthday celebration, ordered and tapau-ed 30 gong peang (dough-like pastry that comes in two varieties ie pork or shallots) and tapau-ed 40 Foo-Chow balls back home. My only complaint is missing the bamboo noodle.

The famous red wine chicken mee sua.  A tad bit too saltish for me, but because we were all famished by the time this first dish was served, it literraly disappeared within 5 minutes!  I think I can cook better... ahem!

It ain't Foo-Chow if you don't have these food bags for take aways on the table. 

A family picture with Ah Ma / Ah Chor.  A couple of photographers around, so some of us were looking elsewhere.

Vic craddling her sleeping cousin brother Andrew.  Ahh, how she wants another baby sibling (sister, to be precise). 

One of my all time favourite dish anywhere - sea cucumber. 

I just realised that I didn't take any pictures of my favourite sweet sour spicy fish maw dish. : ( I must have been too excited to dig in, and totally forgotten about snapping away. Oh well... the next trip then.

Here's one I picked up from the internet.

I am proud to be half Foo-Chow. Although I speak no Foo-Chow, nor do I sit with one leg up in public. My red wine is very precious as my grandma no long makes them, and it's a dying trade.

I am another half Cantonese. : )

A sneek peek into my fridge

For the past 3 weeks or maybe a little earlier, the cough/phlegm bug has been the unwelcomed guest.

It all started with the maid, or Vic, from a harmless mild cough that developed into a nagging phlegmy cough, that resulted in Vic having to visit the clinic a few times to take her ventolin via nebuliser. She had been wheezing and when her phlegm turned greenish, the paed suggested that she start on antibiotics. We told the paed that we preferred not to, as she has candida and that will further weaken her immune.

So she went on 5 rounds of nebuliser.

At home, hubby and I caught the cough/phlegm bug as well, no sorethroat no flu but very bad cough. The maid eventually got better, and Praise God William stayed strong during this duration when all 4 of us were coughing away. But just yesterday his nose started to run a little - and I gave him anti-histamine immediately.

My fridge is ever filled with a medley of medicine, for adults and kids. From anti-histamine (sedative and non-sedative) to different types of cough syrups, paracetamol, adult medicines - anti-histamines, cough syrups, sorethroats, antibiotics, painkillers and diarhrea.

Random pics of William

Pictures all taken in July.

Little boy still loves reading books - right now it's still me reading, but he'd sit beside me, and choose his books, and has his favourite stories.  He had also asked me how I learnt to read.

William The Chef - He helps himself to the items in my kitchen.  If I have anything missing, chances are they are in his little toy kitchen which is more well stocked than mine.

Refusing to wear his pants after bath.  I told him to wear them, and he ran off, wore them like a hat, with his little bird bird exposed.  We played "Catch Me"...

When William is sad, he does this.  Chin resting on palm, looking really glum.  You can't go wrong when you see this face, he is REALLY sad.  I snapped this after I told him I needed to finish my breakfast instead of playing with him, and he walked off by himself.  I found him moments later sitting by himself at the swimming pool stairs of the hotel. 

Happy playing by the Lumut beachside.

Maids - life better with or without them?

You know, I have meant to write a post about my current maid a month back when she reached her 1st year anniversary here in Malaysia. But work got the better of me, and I have delayed the post until now.

Recently a mommy blogger was looking for a part time helper, another mommy blogger just received hers after 1.5 year gap, and during a yam cha session with a friend I was sharing with him about my 5 maids, and he said I referred to them like ex-boyfriends (NOT that I had 5 exes)

Maid No. 1 - Sinta

Yes, I have had 5 maids, since May 2006, if I recall correctly. Sinta was a very young Indonesian girl, an average helper, not very clean but teachable and courteous to the old, chats with other maids behind our backs, stole some food even, but none of these were the reasons why we sent her home after 18 months.

We started becoming suspicious when our little Vic, then around 2years plus, started smacking the maid really hard on the head, chest, hands for no apparent reason, and even in front of us. Vic would say, "Scared Kakak beat you" but we'd explain to her that Kakak didn't hit us (later we realised that her "you" means "me"). Later on, we suspected that the maid was pinching and beating Vic behind our backs, but smart enough not to leave any marks on Vic. But not smart enough to know that our little toddler could talk!

We probed and asked Vic many times on how, where, when, and what Kakak did, sometimes open-ended questions so we do not lead Vic to an answer (as kids can make-believe), and finally we were confident that the maid was hurting our daughter behind our backs!

Finally we sent her packing. She being our first maid, I learnt from "mistakes" - being too nice a ma'am even apologizing to my maid if I was too harsh in scolding her as I didn't want to hurt her feelings, and also giving her a goodbye hug when I dropped her off at the agent.


Maid No. 2 - Sunarni


Just as some get the shivers when they hear Tsunami, I get the shivers when I mention her name. This maid was good.... for nothing. I am not prejudiced, but my maid no.2 came from Kupang, the place where you get curly-haired Indons. She is what people has generalised these curly-haired... super slow and super dirty.

She overslept, slept while washing clothes, and did things in slow motion. But sleeping and being slow was not such a big offence as having zero common sense, giving us idiotic, silly looks that makes you wonder if she's mentally ill, and her non-existence of personal hygiene or whatsoever hygiene got the better of me.

I was pregnant with William and she was at her 3rd month when we decided that we will not risk her staying on past her 6th month, and being there to "help or not help" me when William was born, so we gave notice to the agent for a replacement maid.

It was traumatic having her around, as she did things that made my blood boil and did nothing to help in the house. I remembered once breaking down in front of my gynae as I asked him if my baby was fine and he asked me why. I told him because I was under so much stress and broken every "pantangs" there is for pregnant ladies - not to look at ugly objects (no picture of my maid no.2 here, as I don't want to frighten you) or scold people, which I did almost every other day.

I had picked my maid no.3's biodata, and she was supposed to arrive by November. But for many reasons, her arrival was delayed, and I later suspect and confirmed that the agent wanted my old maid to finish paying off her "debts" in the 6 months. Sunarni left in her 7th month and I received my third when I was heavily pregnant in my 8th month.


Maid No. 3 - Yana

She was above average in work performance, on the first day she arrived and after cleaning herself up, she took the initiative to wash my porch. Within the first week, her initiatives included cleaning up and making shiny all my pots and pans, cleaning the insides of all my kitchen cabinets at the same time orientating herself on where I kept things. She did the housechores, cared for my kids, bonded with them, cooked well (her forte) and also had green fingers.

She stayed her full term of 2 years but left to be back with her husband, whom she loved greatly and her son whom she left when he was one. She wanted to have 4 kids, and needed a bit of extra money just to complete building the house that they've already started on the land they already had.

I don't miss her now, but I do miss her sambal belacan. Thank God the kids had no withdrawal symptom after Yana left.


Maid No. 4 - Tati

I can't say who is worse, my second or fourth maid. This lady's bio was so fragrant, you could not reject her, and she had a nice sweet face, big double eye lid eyes to go with, as well. Her bio says she worked one year with a chinese family before and has a son the same age as William. Oh, but how bios and looks can be so deceiving!

She could hardly cook, not even stirfry vege, and served me steamed chicken that's still raw, and could fry a fish that's crispy on the skin but still oozing with blood on the sides. Sounds like something out of Fear Factor to me. She had zero common sense, worked slow and spoke so soft even the mosquitoes cannot hear her!

If you told her to do something, or NOT do something, she'd do the exact opposite for you, I guess just to see your reaction. She'd broken even my stainless steel spatula amongst a couple of other items during her 2 months tenure/holiday here. If not for the fact that we were away in the UK for 3 weeks, she'd have gone home sooner!

As for the agency, oohh, that's another long story! Cut short, I believe strongly that the maid and agent were cohorts, and the agent ended up earning double fees for recyling her!


Maid no. 5 - Kea Net (current)


Finally fed up with the Indonesian helpers, I decided to give the Cambodians a try, despite reading many bad reviews on the internet and hearing advice from friends that Cambodian maids are good in four areas : Eating (a lot), slow workers, dirty (because of cultural background) and prone to lie. Oh well, having seen the worst in maid no. 4, I am game / desperate to try the Cambs now.

My current maid is a 20 year old, single Cambodian girl from a village near Phnom Penh.

She has been around for slightly over a year now, and on the whole, more grateful and appreciative of what she is given and has here, compared to her Indonesian counterparts. Possibly because she comes from a genuinely poor country. But she is quick to learn, however no maid is without flaws but maybe after having experienced the horrors of all maid horrors in no.4, I find it easier to forgive my current maid. She had her share of pap talks and counselling from me but I think "we found ourselves a keeper!"

A wise lady once told me, "With maids, heart pain; without maids, hand pain."